You’re reading a book at a café while waiting for your boo. What are you reading?
"Marley & Me."
"The Taming of the Shrew."
My journal.
"On the Road."
Magical scrolls.
"The Bro Code."
“Nothing Feels Good: Punk Rock, Teenagers and Emo.”
It’s Valentine’s Day. What do you have planned to show your romantic devotion?
I'm going to fight someone bae doesn't like.
Nothing. Valentine's Day is for suckers.
I prefer the day before Valentine’sDay when everyone’s desperate for love. I call it Desperation Day.
Whisk them away to Paris for the weekend.
Cook an elaborate pasta dinner followed by a visit to an art show exhibition her friend happens to be in and spontaneous adventures around the city.
Build them a house and present them with a year's worth of love letters.
Serenade them with their favorite song in front of everyone they know.
What kind of flowers do you get bae?
Wild yellow jessamine that grows behind my house. It’s her favorite flower and it’s the state flower of South Carolina.
Black dahlias. They’re dramatic like our love.
I don’t give romantic partners flowers. Living things like flowers tend to remind women of babies and I don’t want that.
Vervain for its magical properties and as a symbol of eternal love.
None.
Whatever their favorite kind of flower happens to be because I listen.
Something wild and beautiful with lots of thorns.
What’s a typical date you’d take your romantic interest on?
A friend's dog's wedding.
Paintballing.
I’m not sure I’d describe my interest as romantic, but whatever’s most likely to quickly impress them.
Dinner in New York. Dessert in London.
A picnic on the porch of the house I renovated for her with a view of the stars.
A concert.
We’d brawl some jocks in the street.
Who's your type?
The artsy, angry feminist who doesn’t take crap from anybody and doesn’t apologize for who she is.
An indie girl with pastel hair and commitment issues.
Anyone.
The introverted but fierce demon-hunting warrior.
Attractive, passionate, and challenging with a willingness to defy convention.
The shy, ambitious, intelligent girl who loves to read.
The woke feminist commitment-phobe stoner girl.
What's your profession?
Warlock.
Author.
Dentist.
Corporate suit.
Entrepreneur.
I’m still working that out.
Millworker and part-time construction worker.
Where would you like to live?
Seattle, Washington.
New York, New York.
Seabrook Island, South Carolina.
Brooklyn, New York.
Stars Hollow, Connecticut.
What's your superpower?
Seduction.
Sarcasm.
Immortality and magic.
Levitation, pyrokinesis and the ability to summon demon hipster chicks.
The patience of a saint.
Persistence.
Intimidation.
It’s bae’s birthday. What are you getting them?
A priceless enchanted magical artifact.
Books.
A house.
Fender Stratocaster guitar.
Eyeliner and hair dye.
I’m baking them a cake and giving her thousands of dollars’ worth of free dental care.
I don't stick around for birthdays.
Are you a player?
Yes.
No.
If you live long enough you tend to accumulate a certain number of romantic interests but no.
What's something you're likely to say?
“I’m not getting married until everyone can get married.”
“Where’s the honor in living a lie?”
“Don’t let anyone, ever, make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want.”
"If you want to fight me, you're not the brightest."
“Think of me as Yoda. Only instead of being little and green, I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro. I’m Bro-da.”
“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.”
“I want to be good. Life’s just not letting me.”
What is something you hate?
Vampires.
Swans.
Not getting something I really want.
Monogamy.
The status quo.
My ex’s new romantic interest.
Nothing. I'm pretty even-tempered.
Choose a media.
Books.
Comic books.
Television.
Movies.
What's on your bucket list?
Running a dog rescue.
Growing old with the person I love.
I've already done it all.
Building a literary empire.
I can't say. It's NSFW.
Skydiving.
Fighting all of my ex’s new romantic interests and starring in a Bollywood video.
Who spends more time on their hair: you or bae?
Me.
Bae.
Neither, really.
What are you most likely to argue with your romantic partner about?
Their inability to commit.
My inability to commit.
My immortality.
The fact that I started dating them because someone paid me to.
The fact that their family doesn't like me.
Are you a fling or are you The One?
I think I'm The One.
I'm definitely The One.
A fling, but I would like to be The One.
Definitely a fling.
Who knows?
What does your name mean?
“Gift of Yahweh.”
“Rest, repose.”
"Gift."
"Nobleman."
"Greatest."
“Son of comfort.”
“From the settlement of the pool.”
Choose a hobby.
Blogging about pasta.
Throwing themed parties.
Renovating old houses.
Laser tag.
Singing and dancing.
Reading.
Singing and playing music.
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